Why Writing is So Stressful

What is writing?

Let’s consider what writing really is. Simply put, it is putting letters together to create words and putting words together, down on paper (or digitally), to create sentences and putting sentences together to create a story or a narrative. Well that’s easy enough or at least sounds easy enough but we don’t see it as just that do we?

Nope, we see it as this profession that is only done by professionals who are really good at what they do and they are making money at it.

Too often we think, well that’s not me. So we don’t call ourselves a writer, even if we are actually writing.

So what makes writing so difficult?

Let’s go back to grade one. Now for many of us, especially if you are older than about 40, I’m not so sure that grade one was all that much fun. The rules were pretty strict and things were taught in a way that you did it their way or got yelled at. Ouch. Sad that the teachers of before were taught there was only one way of learning and only one way of doing.

Grade One

So guess what? In grade one, you were taught to print out your letters and they had to be printed just so, which meant you had to keep them on the line and between the lines. To get better at doing this you had to repeat… repeat… repeat. And sometimes miss recess to do so.

As you went through school you were taught more rules—sentence structure, punctuation, grammar… Which we’ve now learned will change.

You were taught how to write reports and essays. There was a specific format you had to follow and the information had to be in a certain order.

Before you’ve even tried to write something that interests you, you’re trying to keep track of all the rules you learned. Which means you’re mind is so busy trying to keep it all straight it’s hard to be creative.

It’s not anyone’s fault, it’s just what was taught and what we interpreted from that.

There has to be a messy stage

There is nothing more exciting than getting an idea to write a story, a message, a book and then find it difficult to start or to keep going.

Too often when we start writing we worry about the end product. But here’s what we forget, back when we were in school we had to do research. We wrote out information that we wanted to include. And then we started to pull that information together, with our understanding of it and our ideas and to write out our report or essay. I don’t know about your first draft or fifth draft, but mine were always a mess. I had information here, there and I was moving information around to make it fit and have it make sense.

The early form of Cut and Paste

My first year of University, I had several papers due, which stressed me a lot. I used to do my research, write some of my paper, do more research and then write out the full essay. But once I’d written it, I’d rearrange the information. This was before the ease of the computer. It was all hand written and then typed up.

I used to cut my pages and tape pieces for where I thought the information should go. When I liked how it read, I’d rewrite it so that I could then type it out. It was very time consuming but there wasn’t the luxury of typing out your information and have it saved so that you could edit it easily. You had to hand write it, yes that was a while ago, and then rewrite it without mistakes to make it look good. And then you’d worry about typing it and pray you didn’t need to use a lot of white out. Well after writing a 10 + page report, 3 to 5 times or more, you figure out a way to take short cuts. So I literally just cut my pages til I had the right order. I call that the early form of cut and paste.

When I talk about messy

The messy stage doesn’t have to be what it looks like on paper, it can be that it feels like you can’t quite get clear on the story or where you want it to go. Maybe you’ve got a great idea but can’t seem to flesh it out. Maybe you’ve got some of it but feel stuck with where to go. Maybe it’s that you have the story down but it is all over the place. You have so much information that it is overwhelming. Or maybe you’re struggling to get clear on it.

That’s okay.

I Get It

I used to struggle a lot with the messy stage. I thought it meant I was a terrible writer. In the beginning, I hand wrote a lot of stories. Not only were they messy on paper but I felt like they were just messy. I’d start something but it wouldn’t be great the minute I wrote it down. Another idea would come so I’d jump to it. It wasn’t until I stopped and looked at something I’d written, that I realized there was something really good there. That’s when I thought there has to be a way to make this good. I tore it apart and started to rewrite it. It was a lot of work but it also led me to completing my first novel and publishing it.

There needs to be this messy stage so that you can get to the final end product, your story or book.  And believe me, getting there is so worth it. 

Write down everything

You need to allow yourself to write down your ideas, to pick through them, to toss some of them, to start over. It does not matter what order you do this in or how you do it, write. Your story is begging you and bugging you to get it down on paper. The process really doesn’t matter. What matters is the end product. How you get there is up to you. When you have something down on paper then you have something to work with. That’s when you worry about putting it in an order so that it looks good… sounds good…

The Process is up to you

How you go about writing and editing and rewriting your story is truly up to you. There is a lot of information telling you how to write – do an outline, write 2000 words a day, write in the morning… If that works for you, the do it. It if doesn’t, find what does work for you. Experiment. Figure out what you need so that you can write.

Drop the Rules

The best gift you can give yourself is to drop the rules. By dropping the rules, you are freeing up your mind to be creative and to just write. It doesn’t have to stop you ever other sentence and remind you about putting a comma, a period, breaking up your long sentence… You just write. That can all be fixed later.

Don’t worry those rules and the formatting is important but not until you are nearing the finish line. You can go back when you are done your story, your book, your message and fix it in the final rewrite and editing phase.

Be Messy… don’t worry you’ll grow out of it… maybe…

The best thing about those teenage messy years is that eventually your child grows out of those years. Well, the same will happen with your writing. To get better at writing you need to write. You need to allow your mind to open and the ideas to flow. The more you do this the better you are going to get and the less messy you will be. Or at least that is the goal but it really doesn’t matter if you keep writing your first draft like a messy teenager just write!

Your Goal

The goal is to write a good story… a good message… a good book... And all of that really comes to life in the rewrites where you reorganize, rethink, and rewrite what you have down on paper. It’s exciting to see what adds and what takes away from the story/piece you’re writing.

Keep Writing!

Give Yourself Permission to Write

There really is no right or wrong way to write, it’s all about what works for you but you need to be able to get beyond the hurdles holding you back.

Writing isn’t a one and done. Unfortunately, too often we try to make our first draft the final, perfect product. There are very few people, who can write an amazing first draft that needs little editing. Most of those who are that good have put in the time and energy to get there. I know I can’t. I have been writing for many years and it still takes some time and work for me to get to the final draft. And I’m okay with that.  

Now that I know my first draft is not my final draft, meaning it doesn’t have to be perfect I just have to get words down so I have something to work with, has made all the difference.

Aim for the messy teenage years, and just write. With a little work, you’ll create the final, perfect product.

Stick with it!

There is nothing more thrilling then getting your words down on paper!