Heal, Mend or Grow Your Relationship with Your Mom

heal, mend or grow your relationship with your mom

 

Heal, Mend or Grow your relationship with your mom, it just might be the key to your happiness and your future.

 

I’m on a Mission

When we reach old age, we should feel loved, connected and feel like our lives mattered.

 

Now Available.

 

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Getting to know my mom, changed my life.

The expectations of her as a child shaped who she is.

It’s time to discover her story.

The Writing of – Do You Know Your Mom’s Story?

The writing of – Do You Know Your Mom’s Story?

The idea for this book really came about because of 3 things.

  1. I got the opportunity to really get to know my mom’s journey and understand who she was, what she really wanted and why she had made some decisions she had.
  2. I had been interviewing women born before 1945 who stepped outside the norm – they worked or got educated. They had incredible journeys but many had not shared their story with their family.
  3. When we reach old age we should know that our lives mattered, we feel connected and loved. Unfortunately, not many really do feel like this.

Your mom probably doesn’t have a picture of herself as a baby. You may not have one either. It is so unlike today.

Growing old is a given, unfortunately we don’t have much choice about it happening. It’s going to come whether we want it or not but the sad truth is that non of us really prepare for it. In fact we do what we can to run the other direction.

Getting to know my mom

What really struck me in getting to know my mom’s story, was how much she had influenced my life. I thought I was in charge of my life but I discovered that I had been out to prove something to her. She was one of those women who had stepped outside the norm—she graduated from University 1 of 2 women in a class of 126. Pretty impressive. She had hopes and dreams but she got married and stepped away from that. It really disheartened me to see her play ‘second fiddle’, when obviously she was a strong independent woman. Unknowingly I had set out to prove to her that I could do it all, be educated, have a career, be married and raise a family. What a hole I dug myself into.

It wasn’t until I sat down with her and really asked about her life and her journey that I really understood mine. See, I was at this place of feeling overwhelmed, burntout and so lost. I was at the point I didn’t know what I wanted to do anymore. And ironically I realized that although I had done things a bit different than my mom, I had essentially lived her life—I had stepped away from my dream.

Writing this book

My relationship with my mom had directed my life in ways I couldn’t have imagined. As soon as I mended and understood my relationship with my mom, that’s when I knew I’d step into my dream of becoming an author. And I did.

Talking with my mom, interviewing the women who stepped outside the norm and working with seniors early on in my career, showed me how important that mother-child relationship is. It doesn’t matter our age, we are always looking for Mom’s acceptance, Mom’s approval, Mom’s love—whether we consciously know it or not.

The biggest thing I learned was that we all want to know that we matter, that we are loved and feel connected. My goal is to help grow, mend or heal the relationship between mom and child. I know that not all relationships can be fixed but if each of us were to mend it from our perspective, we could go into old age feeling good about our life and our journey.

Understand your mom might just make the difference to you stepping into your dream.

I even had the title before I started

Do You Know Your Mom’s Story? 365 Questions You Need to Ask Her.

Truly we could probably ask her a question a day for the rest of our lives and really not know her full journey or all that she has learned.

Your connection matters

The three reasons why I wrote the book and my hope for what it will accomplish.

 

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Mom – She Held My Hand

Grow, heal or mend your relationship with your mom. Get to know who she truly is. It truly can change your life.

Mom, she held my hand…

 

Mom, she may not have always gotten it right but she did what she knew with what she had… She did it with love.

Do You Know Your Mom’s Story?

 

Now Available.

 

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Your Mom’s Story What do You Really Know?

My goal is to help you grow, mend or heal your relationship with your mom. To do that you need to understand her life, her journey.

Your Mom’s Story, What do you Really Know?

What do you really know about your mom? Do you know what she liked to do as a child? Do you know the expectations of her growing up? Being a mom is amazing but there truly is a lot of pressure on women to get it right… the first time. Now imagine you grew up before the ’60’s, a time when there was a lot of oppression for women, with specific roles laid out for her and a whole lot of different expectations on how she’d do them.

 

Moms come in all shapes and sizes, beliefs, abilities, skills, knowledge…

some became Moms because they wanted to, some reluctantly, while others didn’t have a choice. Regardless of how or why she became a Mother, she really did want things to be better for you.

Moms are beautiful… this woman jumps into a role with no playbook, no rules and tries to wade through all the expectations that are out there. She’s trying to figure out who she is, how to raise her kids to be healthy, whole and make a positive difference in the world while juggling everything life throws at her. It is not easy. And as her kids we often just see her as Mom, the woman in our life who has guided us, who has pushed us, who has scolded us, who has tried to teach us, who’s hope was to raise responsible, respectable children. Not really an easy task. She did what she knew with what she had.

Our Moms are no different than we are

They had (and may still have) hopes, dreams, aspirations, good days, bad days, feeling they aren’t worthy…—and if they grew up before the 60’s they grew up in a time when women had certain expectations and roles they had to fulfill.

To connect to your mom, you need to go back in time, to her time, to when she grew up. It is when she is most connected to. Find those things that have meaning for her, those things she knows from when she was young and growing up. Start with generic things she can relate to—the telephone, doing laundry, transportation, community events… It might mean you need to learn some history—what was going on when she was a child, what were the conditions like, how did they heat their homes, how did they cook, where did they get their food, what did they get paid, how did they get around, what did they use for transportation, how did they do laundry, how did they communicate long distance, what was the community like, what was the weather like, what was school like, where did they get their clothes, what were the expectations of women (in her words), what was the political world like… No matter what generation she grew up in things have and do change very fast. Technology and all we do, how we do it and all we use, has changed a lot over the years.

 

Talk about the similarities and the differences in the times. What does she think about the progress? What does she miss from her old days?

 

Where to start.

To get to know your mom and understand her, you need to start having conversations with her. If you do not have a great relationship with her this might be difficult so start with some easy questions.

What was/is her favorite flower?

What was/is her favorite food?

What was/is her favorite smell?

What was/is her favorite color?

Did she have a pet as a child? Adult? What was it? What was its name?

When we reach old age, we should be happy, healthy, loving life, know we made a positive difference, know we matter and to feel connected. If possible let’s do that for our moms. I know not all relationships can be healed so if you can’t heal your relationship with your mother, for whatever reason, then heal it from your perspective. Our relationships with our moms affect our lives in ways we can’t often measure, so the more we are at peace with that connection, the healthier and happier we all will be.

Mom’s are amazing… but not perfect! Get to know who your mom really is.

Coming May 2018

“…it reaches far beyond dates of birth, marriage and death and into the heart and soul of a woman and her family…” Multi-Award-Winning Author P.M. Terrell

What do you really know about your Mom?

Do you know what her hopes, dreams and desires were? Did she live them?

Your mom is so much more than the woman who raised you. She grew up in a time very different from yours—there were different beliefs, habits, and ways of doing things. Your mom has seen a lot in her life, getting to hear her journey will help you to understand her in a whole new light. Now is the time get to know her and to document her life. The only way to find out about your mom’s story is to ask… because one day she won’t be there anymore.

When we reach old age we should know our lives mattered, that we mattered, that we are loved, happy and feel connected.

This book offers a way to start conversations between you and your mom—in particular, elderly mothers. It is a guide which provides questions to ask, as well as how and when to ask them. Use this as a way to grow, heal and/or mend the relationship between mom and child; preserve this woman’s journey through life and in particular her role as Mom. Her story is her legacy to you.

“…insightful questions with thought provoking examples and explanations…” Christine Jackson

 

 

Now Available.

 

Have you ordered your copy?

 

The Dreaded Question – What is Your Story About

The dreaded question - what is your story about

What’s your story about?

I think there is one question that really throws most authors.

The dreaded question, ‘What is your story about?”

I don’t know about you but I used to stumble through that with something like: “uh, it’s a suspense/thriller. This woman got kidnapped when she was a baby and now as an adult she’s trying to figure out the truth…”

the dreaded question, what is your story about

How do you keep it short and interesting?

I always felt unprepared.

It’s sort of interesting but not really. I always used to do was start with, I write suspense/thrillers or I write romance. I’ve learned not to do that, unless they ask that specifically. The reason I suggest that is because there are amazing books written in every genre but sometimes when you tell someone the genre, you may lose them. They may say, “Oh, I don’t read suspense/thrillers. I don’t read that kind of story.”

I know for me, if you asked if I read dystopian novels, I’d say no. But the truth is that I’ve probably read at least twenty in the last two years alone. They wouldn’t have been my choice to read but the authors did a very good job on selling me on what their story was about. I thoroughly enjoyed each one but I would not have sought out a dystopian type novel to read.

 

So what do you say, when someone asks, ‘What’s your story about?”

 

There are three elements that really make a fiction book blurb compelling – setup, capture, intrigue.

Setup is the underlying theme or problem throughout your story.

Capture is the heart of your story – where the protagonist is, where s/he wants to be, the hurdles s/he has to overcome, what brought them to this point, etc.

Intrigue is where you use the climax and ending to pique curiosity – you hint at who wins, who loses or what might happen…

So when someone asks what is my story about, I use the setup, which I tend to write as a bold statement, and then the intrigue. Anytime you are talking about your book, you want the other person to leave being curious. You want them to wonder what happens? What is going on for your protagonist? What will happen to your protagonist? Where does the story go? You want the other person to care.

So how do you use, Setup and Intrigue?

So the setup would look something like this:

     She was kidnapped not once but twice and now someone wants her dead…

and the intrigue would be something like this:

     Can she unravel 30 years of secrets, lies, and deceit, to find the truth?

When you put them together:

     She was kidnapped not once but twice and now someone wants her dead…

     Can she unravel 30 years of secrets, lies, and deceit, to find the truth?

“Setup and Intrigue work well
to grab attention and pique curiosity.”

Keep it short and punchy.

It’s short, simple, clearly states what is going on for the protagonist, and really it is telling the person that it is a suspense/thriller without actually saying that. It will grab people’s attention, even those who don’t read my genre.

So the next time someone asks you what your story is about, you will have a short, punchy comeback that will intrigue them.

I recently did an interview with three lovely ladies who are authors and have created a podcast, called – Self Publishing Authors Podcast or SPA Podcast for short. Each week they provide invaluable tips on writing and publishing. And they have a lot of fun doing it. Click on the button to listen to my conversation with them and how to answer the dreaded question,

“What is your Story About?”

To listen in, click the link below.

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